Have We Forgotten How To Be Social?!

Things are weird and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Social anxiety is running rampant, and people are… dare I say it… socially inept, awkward and a little strange. While most will blame it on the pandemic, there were signs and patterns beforehand.

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Instagram and social media became a “thing”, which created a photo-op from even the most basic of get-togethers. There’s always a camera and hashtag present, ready for performance. 

Grass walls, balloon arches and strict dress codes/themes make events seem higher stakes than they actually are. While some prerequisites make it fun, others apply pressure that sucks the joy out of everything.

In my opinion, the trend of retreating inwards began in 2016, but the pandemic is what put the nail in the coffin. Not just in the obvious ways of fear, uncertainty, and loss. But in the subtle, sneaky ways that rewired how we socialize, relate, and show up for one another.

We developed a “bubble”.

We optimized everything.

We made life more efficient.

And honestly? Some of it was great. The working from home, not having to commute, and the collective realization that this could’ve been an email.

Somewhere along the way, convenience turned into isolation… and isolation turned into habit.

And now? A lot of us don’t actually know how to socialize anymore.

We forgot how to:

• Make small talk without wanting to crawl out of our skin

• Show up consistently

• Sit in mild discomfort without reaching for our phones

• Be around people without needing an exit strategy

We cancel plans reflexively. We ghost instead of explaining. We overthink every interaction. We feel lonely, but also overwhelmed by the idea of connection.

My Big Prediction

This is the beginning of a social correction era.

The same way society eventually looked at cigarettes and went, “Okay… maybe this isn’t great for us”. I think we’re starting to look at:

• Social media

• Dating apps

• Constant digital connection

• Sitting/sedentary lifestyle

• Overworking

…and ask some harder questions like, “what is this doing to our brains, our relationships, our bodies/nervous systems and our sense of belonging?”

I don’t think we’re deleting everything and moving off-grid. But I do think we’re going to start rebuilding community on purpose.

Back to Basics, Baby:

• Knowing your neighbours

• Borrowing a cup of sugar

• Casual hellos

• Low-stakes invites

• Showing up as you are, not as a performance

What’s coming instead feels quieter… but deeper.

The Socializing I Think We’ll See More Of:

• Picnics with friends

• Patio brunches

• Coffee walks

• Sitting on someone’s couch

• Bringing snacks, not expectations

• Leaving early without guilt

• Staying longer without pressure

It’s low maintenance, high meaning.

You don’t need to perform. You don’t need a reason. You just need to show up.

And I think (I hope) we’re going to start holding ourselves more accountable to that.

Accountability means no more: 

• Last-minute cancellations “just because”

• Irish exits as a personality trait (guilty, guilty, GUILTY!!)

• Chronic flakiness disguised as boundaries

Hosting Is Having a Moment (And I’m Here For It)

Real hosting is NOT networking events or “bring your business card” vibes. There’s a fine line between networking and connection. Connection always feels softer, slower, and more human.

How to Create These Moments in Your Own Life

Here are some easy, low-pressure ways to rebuild social connection:

1. Start Small (Smaller Than You Think)

You don’t need to host a dinner party.

Try:

• Inviting one person for a walk

• Texting a friend for coffee

• Sitting with someone new at an event

Small reps build social muscle.

2. Lower the Stakes

Not every hangout needs to be meaningful.

Connection can be:

• “Come over, I’m doing nothing”

• “Let’s parallel play”

• “We don’t have to talk the whole time”

Take the pressure off depth, it’ll come naturally.

3. Name the Awkwardness

If you feel weird, say it.

“I’m a bit socially rusty.”

“I almost cancelled but I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I’m awkward, just so you know.”

Naming it dissolves it.

4. Give Yourself an Exit Plan

Social anxiety is easier when you know you can leave.

Decide ahead of time:

• How long you’ll stay (let it be known ahead of time that you have to leave at 3)

• When you’ll check in with yourself

• That leaving early is allowed

Freedom reduces fear.

5. Practice Being Seen (Just a Little)

You don’t have to trauma dump.

But try:

• Sharing one honest thought

• Saying how you actually feel

• Letting someone see the real you, even briefly

That’s where connection lives.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

If this resonates, take it as your sign:

• Text the friend

• Say yes to the coffee

• Invite someone over

• Show up as you are

• Host. Gather. Connect. 

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Journal Prompts:

1. What kinds of social interactions energize me vs. drain me?

2. When I cancel plans, what am I usually feeling beforehand?

3. Do I feel pressure to “perform” when I’m around people?

4. What’s a low-stakes hangout I could invite someone to this month?

Write down one simple action you will take this week to rebuild connection:

• A text you’ll send

• Someone you’ll invite for coffee

• A gathering you’ll host

• An event you’ll attend

Remember that we’re not meant to do life alone. We’re in the midst of rebuilding something important.

This is just the beginning.